We’ve all been there… lingering in the aftermath of a breakup, that we weren’t quite mentally or emotionally ready for. No matter how many times your bestie (or mom) tells you that you’ll be over him soon – or that there’s someone better out there for you – you just can’t seem to escape the very literal feeling of overwhelm or the constant thoughts of what could have been.
Why is the concept of doing what we do for others for ourselves so difficult to grasp? I’m not really sure that our i-can-do-it-all mentality is something that we’re even conscious of. We’ve become so inundated with terms that define who we should be – girlboss, supermom, hustler… the list goes on and on.
Maybe we’ve convinced ourselves that self-sacrifice equals “adulting”.
I don’t subscribe to the notion that relationships are hard.
Relationships are built on effort and the desire to be and stay connected to your partner. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been involved with your loved one… if you’re reading this post, they mean a lot to you. But being happy in a relationship doesn’t mean that there isn’t room for improvement.
The 6 Step Mental Detox
Life is busy. Overwhelming even… sometimes to the point that we can find ourselves so intertwined with responsibilities, appointments, housework, and bills – that we start to lose our own identity. We begin to believe that we are currently experiencing the sum total of what life has to offer, and that’s the furthest thing from the truth. Most of us haven’t even scratched the surface.
Most of us haven’t even scratched the surface.
I’m sure that we’ve all thought a time or two, that there has to be more to life than our current situation… and to be honest, there is! But if you’ve ever had that thought, you may be in need of a cleanse – no tea, ACV, or lemons involved – just you consciously deciding to do better for yourself and find your true happiness.
here are 6 steps to get you there
Self-love is a lesson that you keep learning over and over again.
When I was in the second grade, I liked a little curly headed boy named Milton. I was so smitten that I drew hearts, with arrows through them, on construction paper that said “I love Milton”. Young and naïve, I convinced myself that he was my boyfriend. One afternoon, I talked to him on the phone (for the first and last time). During this brief conversation – that I am sure my mother wasn’t aware of – Milton informed me that I was merely one of several girlfriends. In fact, he told me that I was #3 and proceeded to name the holders of the coveted 1st and 2nd place. I remember asking him why I couldn’t be #1.
You’ve always had a plan. You knew that it would all work out, just the way you envisioned… until it didn’t.
You may not have been obsessive about the details, but you at least had an idea of what career you wanted, the type of house you envisioned living in and an approximate date for when you thought you’d be married or have children… and even where you wanted to be at this point in your life. You had a general outline… right? A map of sorts, that you planned to navigate right to your end destination. That is until everything fell apart and you had no idea how you deviated so far off course.
That was 2008, in a nutshell for me. I started the year on cloud 9. My real estate business was booming. I was earning great money. I had a gorgeous home and I had just launched my 1st publication. The stars and the heavens seemed to be aligning perfectly.
I had goals.
I felt like my journey was leading me straight towards my dream life.
And then, everything fell apart.