First dates can be both nerve-wracking and exciting. You may have been crushing on someone for awhile now, or you may have stumbled across his profile page on dating apps such as Tinder or Match.com. But we all want our first encounter with someone new to go well.

Even if there’s no connection, you want that first meeting to go as smooth as possible. But this is also a time to be on high alert. Pay attention to his appearance, his behaviors, and most importantly what he has to say. We often overlook cues about someone’s personality because we’re caught up in the excitement of being with someone new… but there are a few things that he absolutely should not say on the first date.

“I didn’t have time to change”

In this day and age courtship is lost on quick meetups and casual encounters – don’t lower your standard if you’re looking for someone that values and matches your effort.

You have possibly spent hours getting ready for the date. Because, first impressions count, right? From the right makeup to picking the perfect dress, heels and maybe even those handmade pearl earrings you got for Christmas.

So it’s no surprise that when you arrive at the restaurant you’re expecting him to have made a little effort in his appearance as well. But, if the first thing he does is apologize for how he looks, and he looks like he put forth no effort, take it as a sign. He should want to make a strong first impression and it should be important enough for him to set aside time to present his best self. To be fair, he may have a valid excuse, but if not, take note.

Sidenote: We’re not at all saying that you should solely focus on his appearance, but his physical characteristics appearance and presenting your best self… are completely different things.

“How much did that cost?”

This is a big no-no. Whether you just told him about your loft apartment in the city or you’re rocking a designer handbag – how much something cost is none of his business. It could be a sign that he’s gauging how you spend your money or even saying that you’re a little too thrifty or materialistic for his taste.
There are many ways to compliment something without qualifying it with its monetary value. Think about it this way, you may be wearing a $10 thrift find that looks like a $200 dress from Nordstroms… it does not matter at all how much you paid for it. Period.

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“How many children do you want to have?”

First dates are all about getting to know someone on a lighter note. This would have been a wonderful thing to say a few dates down the line but on your first date? Not so much. Think about it this way, you’ve only just met, it’s not the time for deep dive questions… this is more the shallow end of the pool.
You also don’t want to feel pressure to answer questions that are more in line with your long-term life goals. On a first date, everything needs to be as simple as possible. This is your opportunity to get to know each other a little better, and not the time to make any big decisions that will affect your lives. He may be the man of your dreams, but then again he may not be. Keep him at arm’s length until you know if he’s the ‘one.’
Sidenote: If you’re not wanting to waste your time on someone that has different goals or beliefs as you, it’s still okay to give it a few dates before you start exploring their family plans. Use this time to see if you’re compatible – If he’s kind and attentive or if he makes you laugh. Also, people can often change their long-term goals when they meet the right person. How many times have you heard of someone telling an ex that they never want to have kids, only to marry someone else and start a family right away?
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“Did you bring protection?”

A first date is not a precursor to sex – no matter how many primetime tv shoes tell us otherwise. At the end of the night, it’s best to say goodbye and make arrangements for your next date. Don’t do anything that you might regret later… and don’t leave the wrong impression.

If he’s keen on getting you back to his place, be firm in your response. If you’re not interested, say ‘no.’ Don’t hesitate. Trust that if he has any respect for you, he will value your decision. If you’re honest with yourself, you’ll be honest with the fact that you don’t know anything about the guy. And while he may be a perfectly nice guy, on the other hand, he may not. You need to stay safe on your date, and if you feel in any way uncomfortable, make an early exit.


Have you got any first date experiences? Did you or the guy you were with say anything crazy? Let us know in the comments!