Why is the concept of doing what we do for others for ourselves so difficult to grasp? I’m not really sure that our i-can-do-it-all mentality is something that we’re even conscious of. We’ve become so inundated with terms that define who we should be – girlboss, supermom, hustler… the list goes on and on.
Maybe we’ve convinced ourselves that self-sacrifice equals “adulting”.
Believing that we’re responsible for everything – which isn’t an altogether incorrect perception. But in the midst of all of our ‘doing,’ we often forget to care for the most important dynamic – ourselves.
You have to acknowledge and be okay with the fact that it’s okay to set aside time to take of you. It should a regular practice for you to invest in your own well-being and operate in self-love. Sounds good, right? But if you’re anything like I was you have no idea where to start. So, I’m giving you a few tips on putting yourself first.Maybe we've convinced ourselves that self-sacrifice equals 'adulting'.Click To Tweet
Learn To Say No
We often put pressure on ourselves to do things that we don’t enjoy or even want to do. Or we convince ourselves that we should be the load bearer for everything. But most times the pressure is unwarranted. We have somehow convinced ourselves to believe that saying yes to other’s is good for us. This is the furthest thing from the truth.
You can’t be so helpful to others that you neglect yourself. You have to learn to say no to certain requests and not feel obligated to take on the world.
Tip: Start using those fleeting moments of free time on you. Ask yourself: When’s the last time you read a good book, stayed consistent with your workout routine, or just took your time washing your hair? Can you remember your last date night, girls night, or “me” night? If not, it’s time to start living, being more present, and experiencing things you enjoy.
Validate Your Feelings
When you don’t put yourself first you often start to believe that your feelings aren’t valid. Whether you realize it or not every time you disregard how you feel about something, you suppress your interpretation of the experience.
Think about it this way:
How many times have you had a strong opinion about something, only to convince yourself that you’ve overreacted? When’s the last time you allowed someone to convince you that how you felt was wrong even if you felt justified? Or you’ve been emotional about a particular situation, yet you dismiss your own feelings as being irrational or weak?
Self-validation (of your feelings) doesn’t mean you always believe how you feel is justified. But it’s important that you know that your feelings are valid and important – no matter how insignificant they may seem to you or others. There are many times that your thoughts or feelings will surprise you or they won’t align with your belief system or personal values. Don’t beat yourself up. Use these moments to better understand why you are having these feelings, to better understand yourself and to put your emotional well being first.
Eliminate the Negativity
We often hold on to negative people and situations for much longer than we should. Putting yourself first also means being intentional with your surroundings. Some people are just not good for your well-being. If someone is constantly critical of your decisions or dismissive about your feelings, then it’s time to truly evaluate the connection.
This doesn’t mean that some relationships aren’t salvageable. Transparent communication and open minds can go a long way with rebuilding connections that have been strained in the past. The important thing to remember is to never sacrifice your personal well-being for a destructive relationship no matter how much you want to hold onto it.
Stand Up For Yourself
There are many situations where we can have feelings of inadequacy. As women, no matter how bold or ambitious we are, we often shrink ourselves to please others – where it’s a home, work, or even in our group of friends. One of the most freeing things that you can do for yourself is to stand up for yourself. This doesn’t mean that you give people the business every time you feel that you’ve been wronged, but you should start to speak up on your own behalf.
For example: If your boss mistreats you at work, don’t just take being treated poorly. Go speak with your HR department. If you’ve been involved in an accident and something doesn’t quite feel right, don’t shrug it off and hope for the best. Get checked out and then do your research on sites like https://weinerlawnevada.com/, to know your rights. If your landlord isn’t taking proper care of the home you’re renting, seek legal advice. Don’t just live in subpar conditions because you’re trying to avoid conflict.