The idea of being present in the moment and intentionally enjoying your life sounds good, right? The picture-perfect vision of you being focused on your goals, manifesting your dream life, and constantly improving… is how we all envision the ideal scenario for our lives. While it’s clear that it’s the most beneficial way to live, many of us still struggle with finding our way. 

Sometimes what’s holding you back from the life you desire is something you will never be able to change… the past.

The good news is that it is possible to move forward and start aligning your reality with your dreams. But it’s only possible to live your best life once you’ve resolved to leave the past in the past. Experiences from the past, have a way of creeping into our present. It’s up to us to put things in proper perspective and heal from past hurts.

Sometimes what's holding you back from the life you desire is something you will never be able to change... the past. Click To Tweet

Here are a few tips on moving from living in the past to enjoying your life… now!


Acknowledge your vulnerabilities –

When you don’t move past hurtful experiences from the past, you give them permission to continue to impact your life. Your decision-making ability will negatively be affected. Think about it this way, a few years ago you experienced a traumatic breakup. While time has passed since the experience, you still feel resentment and lingering pain every time something reminds you of them. 

Your life has moved on. You may even be in a new relationship, with a new partner, and you may truly believe that you’ve moved on. But you know that you’re still haunted by that past experience and it impacts your ability to give yourself fully to love.

The truth is that just because you’ve moved on physically and mentally doesn’t mean that you’ve moved on emotionally. If you still feel a reaction, a catch in your throat, a tinge of pain, at the mention of your ex’s name, then that’s a sign that you’re still struggling with what transpired in that relationship. 

If you still feel a reaction, a catch in your throat, a tinge of pain, at the mention of your ex's name, then that's a sign that you're still struggling with what transpired in that relationship. Click To Tweet

 


Getting in alignment –

When we’ve been wronged or deeply affected by an experience it’s easy to not realize that we’re harboring resentment. We tend to make decisions based on our prior experience(s). And although this may seem like a protection mechanism, we sometimes limit ourselves from living our best life. 

It’s important that we learn from our mistakes and not continue to make decisions that put us in similar situations like those that have caused us pain. But there’s a fine line between protecting ourselves and limiting ourselves. You have to be open to going through the process of healing.

Here’s a breakdown of what that process looks like:

  • spend time understanding the root cause of your pain. Is it that you felt disrespected, neglected, or abandoned? Or maybe your trust was broken or made to feel less than. Most of the time we label the source by the person we had the experience with but we have to deal with the real underlying issue.
  • once you’ve determined the source of your pain be honest with yourself. Acknowledge that while there are things that maybe you would do differently if you could, there’s nothing you can do now to change it
  • stop allowing the experience or person to define you. Sure they caused you hardship or pain, and maybe it took you a long time to even feel normal again, but you’re past it now. See yourself as having learned a life lesson rather than being a victim of circumstance.
  • empower yourself to move on. The best way to start is to be transparent about the impact the situation had on you. Whether that means personal journaling, writing a letter to the person that offended you, starting a blog or writing a book, or even sharing your experience with others that will be understanding and supportive, you have to get it all out. When you give voice to your pain you begin to strip away its power.
When you give voice to your pain you begin to strip away its power. Click To Tweet

Moving On –

I truly believe that closure is a myth.

Tethering ourselves to the notion that another person or situation holds the key to our personal healing, also means that we are giving them power over our ability to move on.

There is nothing that can take away the residue left behind from a bad experience. But with these tips, you can begin to eliminate the impact it has on your life. Create a self-care routine and start finding ways to love on yourself. Soon you’ll feel stronger. You’ll be more confident and emotionally stable… and you’ll know that your healing is on the horizon.

Tethering ourselves to the notion that another person or situation holds the key to our personal healing, also means that we are giving them power over our ability to move on. Click To Tweet

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Sidenote: I can’t write this post without acknowledging that not all hurtful experiences are lawful. If the situation from the past that is haunting you is something that is a legal offense; {Think: unfairly being fired from your job, domestic abuse or sexual assault}. I encourage you to explore your legal options. Find legal counsel that you can trust like Reeves & Lyle, LLC, see if you have a legal case and then decide if you want to move forward.