I don’t subscribe to the notion that relationships are hard.

Relationships are built on effort and the desire to be and stay connected to your partner.  It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been involved with your loved one… if you’re reading this post, they mean a lot to you. But being happy in a relationship doesn’t mean that there isn’t room for improvement.

The perfect couple does not exist and that’s okay. We are made greater by our unique personalities and our personal strengths. How boring life and relationships would be if we were all the same. We have to remember that we were individuals long before we became the other half in a relationship – which means there will always be adjustments, concessions, and forgiveness to be given.


There is nothing great in life that comes easy. Your relationship is not exempt from this truth.

Keeping your union fresh, romantic, and exciting shouldn’t feel like a chore but it does take attention and little work. I’m making it easier for you.


Here are the top 6 things to do to improve your relationship!


1. Never stop showing your appreciation

Relationships bring comfort and safety. We can become so used to the kind actions of our significant other that we begin to take them for granted. If you’ve moved from appreciation to expectation, it’s time for a little gut check.

We can become so used to the kind actions of our significant other that we begin to take them for granted. Click To Tweet

Always remember that your beau doesn’t have to bring you fresh flowers, get your oil changed, or keep your fridge stocked with your favorite dessert – they choose to. Make it a habit to say thank you… often. When you take the time to acknowledge their efforts you express gratefulness and help to reinforce those good deeds.

2. Schedule Exclusive You & Me Time

Routines are a part of life but they shouldn’t make up 100% of your relationship. With ongoing responsibilities, work obligations and other personal commitments, the easiest way to lose connection, is to not stay connected. Set aside time weekly that is dedicated to just spending time with each other. Something as simple as a long walk, a candlelight dinner, or even taking a class together, can bring you closer to each other. It doesn’t always have to be an extravagant event… it just needs to be meaningful.

3. Affection Affection Affection

Touch is the physical way of expressing how you feel. We often begin relationships expressing ourselves physically and somehow lose the physical gestures that draw us closer to each other. From a neck massage when your Boo is stressed to a hug when they seem overwhelmed or emotional, affection communicates your feelings without words.

We often begin relationships expressing ourselves physically and somehow lose the physical gestures that draw us closer to each other. Click To Tweet

Intimacy is essential in all relationships. Think how good you felt the first time you two held hands or the electricity you felt with that first neck kiss. Remember when your kisses weren’t quick pecks on the way out the door.  Now, make a decision to recreate those moments over and over again.

4. Listen with your whole heart and both your ears

Let’s be honest, when you’re in a committed relationship, you may hear the same story over and over again. You may hear very similar details of your partners day… every day. You may even get so used to the tone of their voice, that you begin to unintentionally tune them out.

This is the start of a breakdown in communication.

Whether you’re aware of this behavior or not, your partner likely is. Not listening can lead to feelings of neglect and insignificance. When they say that they’re up for a promotion, set a reminder on your phone, to ask them how it went on the day of. If they express that they’ve been feeling overwhelmed, make or order dinner. It’s up to you to make a conscious effort to be present. Actively listen; for ways that you can help, celebrate, and be there for them.

5. The past is the past… but how do you really feel about it

The past has a sneaky way of coming back to haunt us. In relationships, things that have happened in the past often become the foundation for future issues. If there is something that you can’t seem to move on from, it’s well worth it to consider why. Give yourself permission to be sure that whatever is haunting you, is something that you can live with long term.

If there is something that you can't seem to move on from, it's well worth it to consider why. Give yourself permission to be sure that whatever is haunting you, is something that you can live with long term. Click To Tweet

When you can’t move on from a disagreement, situation, or past event, there may be an underlying uneasiness that you’re ignoring. Don’t force yourself to push ahead, just for the sake of being in the relationship, if you’re still experiencing pain, mistrust, disappointment. You should have clarity on what your feelings mean and if you can (or even want) to move forward.

6. Self-love

Never give someone 100% when you only give yourself a percentage.

We often act out in relationships how we feel about ourselves. When we lack confidence, we can often become codependent. If we’re highly self-critical, we can be judgemental of our partner. If we’re self-conscious, we can put unrealistic expectations on the one we love.

Toxic behaviors tend to ooze into every area of our lives when they start – at the core – with how we feel about ourselves.

Having a strong sense of self-worth starts first with self-love and self-care. Make sure that you are investing in your own personal development. Read books that fill you with emotion and others that teach you to be a better person. Take up a new hobby, spend quality time with loved ones, see a therapist, or develop a self-care routine. By becoming your best self you’ll be the best version of yourself for your partner.

Toxic behaviors tend to ooze into every area of our lives when they start - at the core - with how we feel about ourselves. Click To Tweet Never give someone 100% when you only give yourself a percentage. Click To Tweet

what have you done to improve your relationship or keep things fresh and spicy? share in the comments and let’s talk about it!