Codependence is a very real thing.
You may be in a stage of life where you’re starting to realize that you’re not as independent as you thought you were. It’s a harsh lesson to learn. We generally see ourselves as being independent. It’s not always comfortable to think that we need others to get things done.
You are not alone.
We all have relationships that we heavily rely on. There’s nothing wrong with depending on others. The problem arises when you are dependent on a person for all of your needs. When without them, life is a struggle – and it only gets better when your safety net returns.
If you’ve found yourself in this predicament, here are a few tips on establishing your independence
Do you know the advertisement online which claims “we buy your house for a good price?” Well, don’t dismiss it so quickly. Sometimes, moving is an excellent way to gain independence from codependency on family or to escape a toxic relationship.
If you’re going through a bad breakup, a clean slate and a couple of hundred miles between you and your ex can be a very good thing! Another benefit of moving to a new town, city or country with no familiar faces, is that it will force you to create a life of your own.
Find A Better Paid Job
Sometimes your financial situation is the reason for your codependency. Most often we lean on our parents, extended family, or a significant other to provide for us financially – especially when you’re not in a position to make ends meet. It may sound cliche but the best solution to severing financial codependency is to make more money. Securing a new position with better wages and benefits is impossible without completing an application. Applying for new employment can be arduous and time-consuming and it may take a while to hear back. But it only takes one submission to change your life and your financial future.
Join A Gym
Most independent people have a tribe of friends that they connect with regularly. Codependent people can find themselves relying on their significant other for their complete companionship. To start learning how to stand on your own, you need to be okay with doing activities alone.
Joining a gym is an excellent place to start. You’ll meet new people which in turn will encourage conversation… and maybe spark a connection or two. Plus, most classes tend to be weekly events which will help you create a strong bond with your new found workout partners. If the gym is not really your thing… think outside the box. Consider taking a cooking class or even joining a book club.
Develop A Strong Mental Attitude
Some of us are resistant to change and prefer to coast through life without much self-reflection.
Don’t be one of those people.
When you don’t embrace change as a way to stretch yourself and create new experiences you inadvertently accept a mediocre life that promotes laziness and monotony. To keep things fresh, take a look at your life and analyze the strong and weak points. Use what you uncover to figure out what you want to (or need) to improve on. But be prepared as this process may be difficult if you’re not comfortable with self-assessment. But it will help you to develop a strong mental attitude, which is needed to truly let go of codependent tendencies and create a life that is independently yours.
*contributor written post