Squad Power
It takes real effort to create a squad (clique, sphere of influence, tribe… whatever you want to call it) that provides real support, guidance and motivation. In fact, I believe that we have to be intentional in forming connections, that inspire and motivate us towards our goals. Most of the time, we want to bring our current circle of friends with us.
Why?
Because it’s easy to think that good friends make good supporters. But this is sometimes the furthest thing from the truth. Sometimes those closest to us are the ones that will try to talk us down from our goals, not always with a negative agenda, but out of love or concern (for the obstacles or challenges you may face).
When we embark on a new endeavor, we need others to be a part of that journey, lifting us up and helping us navigate through it all.
Often, we feel the need to go it alone because we don’t want to deal with the opinions of others. It’s easy to feel that we don’t need any help; that we have everything under control; that we can handle it… by ourselves. To be quite honest, I am guilty of this one hundred percent.
I am a firm believer that there is a lot that we can handle on our own; and that we shouldn’t feel ill-equipped if we have to go it alone. But, I’ve also learned that there is power in your squad. Once you understand how much more you can accomplish with the right people around you, you are empowered to seek out those types of relationships. But you have to first come to a consensus with yourself. You have to decide and take action to build strong relationships that are conducive to your growth and success!
Side note: Not all criticism is negative criticism. Sometimes you need a fresh perspective to shine light on something that you may have missed or overlooked.
You have to first come to a consensus with yourself to build strong relationships that are conducive to your growth and success!
In order to start creating a winning squad, you have to first evaluate the one you have. One of the realizations that you’ll quickly discover is that not everyone can handle the weight of your dreams! Be prepared that this may include those closest to you.
We all have friends or family members, who try to subliminally talk us out of pursuing big goals. They’re the ones who ask a thousand questions. The ones who try to pick your idea apart.
They’re the ones who pepper you with:
- “Are you sure that you’re ready for that?”
- “Maybe you should wait until the kids are older.”
- “I thought you were looking for a job.”
- “How are you going to fit that into your schedule?”
These conversations start on a high note and end with you either questioning your own abilities or leave you angry and drained! Either way, there’s nothing productive about it. If you’re like most, you welcome constructive criticism, you’re open to little back and forth about why your project is legit… but what’s not so welcome is doubt, negativity or an underlying motive that undermines your idea.
How do I assemble a killer squad that propels me forward in life?
1 – Evaluate
Evaluate your current circle of friends, your colleagues and even family members that are generally privy to anything new that you decide to do. Talk to them briefly about your new venture.
Pay attention to what they say and what they do:
- how did they react to your idea(s)
- what advice (if any) did they offer
- were they indifferent or uninterested
- do they ask how they can help or support you
- were they positive or excited
Now, think about how you felt after the interaction and decide if it’s a feeling of being empowered and motivated, or if you were left feeling defeated and doubtful. As you take stock of their reaction (and your feelings), make a decision as to if this a squad-worthy relationship, or not.
On this journey, you will have to evaluate your current relationships and decide if they are Squad-Worthy connections... or not. Click To Tweet2 – Eliminate
It’s time to eliminate those, in your circle, that are negative, doubting and unsupportive.
Being selective about your squad is the only way to ensure that you surround yourself with people that only want the best for you. You have to be willing to come to terms with the fact that not everyone is meant to go on this journey with you – and some won’t want to. But, before you panic… this does not mean that you are about to experience an ugly breakup with your best friend or favorite cousin. Not at all. Your relationships will stay intact. It simply means that you will limit the communication – concerning your plans – with those specific people.
You have to be willing to come to terms with the fact that not everyone is meant to go on this journey with you – and some won’t want to. Click To Tweet3 – Expand
This is the part that only you can put in motion.
You have to strategically ‘expand’ your squad by intentionally seeking out connections that are aligned with your goals and the life that you desire to create for yourself. Most of the time these are not people that you already know. Your objective should be to cultivate relationships with people that have already achieved (or are on the path to achieving) the type of lifestyle that you are striving for.
Get ready to attend networking events, conferences and even going through the process of finding a strong mentor to guide you along the way. No matter where you start, it’s just important that you don’t take Squad Power for granted. You’ll thank me later.
You have to strategically ‘expand’ your squad by intentionally seeking out connections that are aligned with your goals and the life that you desire to create for yourself. Click To TweetI’d love to hear your success stories on creating Squad Power in your life; or if you have tips on how you connected with a strong group of women and how those relationships have helped you along the way, tell us about it in the comments.
P.S. Need a little auditory reinforcement? You’re in luck. This entire topic is available as a podcast episode (plus a lot more of my opinions, examples and personal stories) right here for you.
Press Play
Who you keep around you is so important. Birds of a feather as my mom use to tell me.
Right Christin! And not everyone is right for every journey. When you’re trying to do something different, or move ahead… you have to assess your squad and make sure that you are surrounded by people that empower, not hinder, you.
I love this post! I really need to take a look at the people around me and cut out the negative. Thanks for the motivation!
Yes Krista! It’s one of those things that we take for granted because we’re so familiar with those closest to us. But it’s important to pay attention to the energy, words and support, that these same people deposit into our lives, when it comes to forward momentum and progress.
That’s a very good strategy. We all need such a circle of trusted friends to see us through thick and thin. Great article!
Thank you Pamela! You’re right, life is so much better with a trusted circle of friends!
This was such a timely article for me! I made a commitment to put real effort into building the tribe I wanted to have around me this year. Currently, I am in the eliminate phase. Thank you for giving me the motivation to work on expanding, now! (PS. I love the layout and design of your blog! Great work!)
Thank you so much! I try to make the blog easy to ready and dissect.
I’m so excited that this article was just what you needed. I’ve learned that this is an area of life that we have to constantly assess – making sure that the people in our lives line up with where we’re headed, not where we’ve been.
I love all those quotes. Relationships are the thing I work hardest on in my life!
🙂 🙂 🙂
So good and so true. When I decided to eliminate negativity from my life there were people I had to let go, it is a hard lesson in life. What I found surprising is support that I found in people and place I wouldn’t have expected.
Heidi – We’ve had similar experiences. Once I cleared out the dead weight relationships, I too found support and great friendships when (and where) I least expected them.
I can not say enough about how important it is to surround yourself with only amazing, uplifting, and positive people. This simple advice has truly changed my life. I loved the podcast, it was simple and the examples were all too true. I think we overlook people criticism or nay saying sometimes not realizing its a form of negativity.
Right! It’s so easy to dismiss passive aggressive comments or negative gestures… but those are usually symptoms of a bigger (underlying) issue.
This is so interesting. I learned the hard way that those “close” friends are usually the ones that least support you. For me it has been hard to find that squad. I will keep your tips in mind.
I’ve learned this on my journey as well Leslie. Those that I just knew would support me, did not. That’s why I became intentional about my relationships and friendships!
Excellent post! Sometimes we just need to get the ‘deadwood’ out of our lives so we can life much better meaningful lives with an excellent support system.
Love that ‘get the deadwood out’ – this is so true, as when a relationship no longer gives you life, it becomes draining. Elimination!
The people we choose to have around us directly effects us so it’s so important to be picky with who we choose to spend our time with! I know so many people that go down the wrong path because of the influences of others.
Yes!!! The relationships that we are apart of are so important because those people do influence you and your energy!
There is definitely strength in numbers!
Quality over quantity!
Yes, it’s so important to have KIND people around you who have your back when you need it.
🙂
The Taylor Swift connotation (as if she invented the term squad) always turns me off immediately, but the deeper points made here are so true. The company you keep has a deep affect.
I honestly didn’t even know that this term came from Taylor Swift. But you’re right Ashley, the company you keep is definitely important!
Actually I totally agree with you. We always want to bring our friends to everything we like or we want to do. And sometimes different opinions is disappointing because we expect from them to agree. Solo is the best way to go. We just need some encourage.
Renata – I truly don’t believe that we should go it alone. There are so many benefits to having a strong Squad in your life. From support to accountability, this one definitely shouldn’t be overlooked!
Having a great tribe around you can really benefit your self confidence. My tribe always provides me with truthful info that I can always count on to keep me accountable.
Katrina – you’ve got a strong tribe. Holding each other accountable means that they want to see you win!
Absolutely agree.
The sad part is having to deal with negative family members, we love them but we will need to keep them away till we contaminate them with positive energy! That demands much courage and self-honesty
Thank you
Family members can be tricky, because you can’t always eliminate them right?!? But, you can control the topics that you discuss with them and the input (and influence) that you allow them to have on your life.
Squad Power, I love it! There are always family and friends who don’t support your goals or who, maybe even unintentionally, make you doubt yourself. Going to networking events and conferences is a great idea.
Rebecca – absolutely, be open to new relationships and put yourself out there to find a strong Squad!
I am in the process of eliminating right now. This year has shown me the true colors of some other people in my circle and I have begun the process of weeding them from my garden. it is hard. There is a difference between respectful disagreement in life, but more and more the ugliness of people has reared its ugly head.
Julie – Elimination is hard at first… but I promise you will feel so much better when that negative energy is removed from your life.
I LOVE this post. LOVE LOVE LOVE!!! IT is so important to design your life with intention and purpose!! One of the major reasons i love beachbody is the people that it puts me in contact with.. Forcing myself to get out of my comfort zone and meet and connect with new, empowering souls! So exciting.
Yes, sometimes to establish relationships of value, we must get out of our comfort zone!
Having a good circle of friends is always good for you. It helps you stay grounded and gives you tremendous support.
Idriss, you make a good point. A good circle of friends helps you to maintain the proper perspective and provide invaluable support!
Very empowering! These tips are so helpful in creating a great circle of positivity and support.
Thank you Janine 🙂
Always important to evaluate your circle of friends!
Evaluation is key. How many times have we kept people around because it was what we were used to… or what was familiar – even though that relationship didn’t benefit us in any way.
Nice post! Friends are really important
Absolutely, the right friends are extremely important!
Yes, yes, and yes! Nice post.
🙂
Excellent post. As women, we tend to try to do everything on our own but I have found it they if we have a good support to help we get so much more done.
So true! We try to go it alone and that can work… for a while. But, we all need a strong support system in our lives.
I agree, it’s so important to have a group of people who are good for you and your life. Having the wrong tribe can adversely effect your life in a negative way. I made this decision a few years ago and I have been so much happier because of it!
Jennifer! Love that you took control of your ‘tribe’. You’re so right “the wrong tribe can adversely effect your life”… so many people miss this point – until it’s too late.
I love it – sometimes elimination is key as hard as it can be, some people just don’t build you up the way they should and you gotta cut them out. Jealousy is a disease, cut out the cancer!
This is so true Kari!!! While elimination can be the hardest step, it is often the most rewarding!!
This is gold! A lesson I’ve learned many times over since high school.
Yes, haven’t we all. The wrong people can tear you down, while the right people will build you up!
This is something I have to remind myself of time and time again! Thank you for the reminder and tips to make it easier!
You’re welcome!
support is always never a bad thing, like my sisters usually say… I AM COMING OR GOING OUT WITH MY SQUAD… now i miss them as i wish they were here to name me in there squad as always… great posts.
Love that saying! I encourage you to get out and make some new connections Lex.
Great advice. We all need people in our corner!
Exactly Tara!!! We need the RIGHT people in our corner.
What an inspiration. This is just want I need. I honestly like to do things alone. I have friends but i never open to them fully. I just like to deal things on my own. But i hope i could change it.
You can definitely change this! Start simply with making new connections, some will develop into real relationships and others will simply expand your network.
Great post about staying positively motivated!
Glad you liked it!
Even though I can only read the first couple paragraphs of this post (maybe that’s all there is?), I agree. I am in a season of life where my family requires so much of me that I don’t have time/energy to put into forming true friendships, and it’s really hard. I would love to have someone that I could count on or even just to talk to again.
Oh no Abbey – I’m sorry that you weren’t able to view the entire post. But you make a good point… especially once you reach a certain age – creating valuable, non-judgmental friendships can be difficult. That’s why you have to seek them out intentionally!